Judith, who turned her head to see if Calipa had returned, faced an unexpected person.

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It was Giryu.

His red hair was messed up as if representing a complicated mind.

The lightly draped uniform coat was not buttoned down.

“Captain? Why…”

But how?

How the hell did he know she was here?

Judith and Louis did not go straight back to their quarters and were thrown into the common room.

No one would know that these two were here except for Calipa who asked for the ointment.

Giryu, who looked to have just come back from war, was at the door and looked at the two.

“Louis, can you spare us a moment?”

“Ah…… Yes.
I see.”

Louis greeted Giryu, then spoke to Judith.

“I’ll pick out the theology books, so don’t worry.
I’ll see you later.”

“…yes.”

Louis left the lounge.

As soon as the door closed, Giryu asked with a complicated expression.

“…are you learning theology?”

“I’m still in the basic learning stage, to be precise.”

“It would not be a very profitable study.”

“……”

Surprisingly, it was exactly what she used to think.

I couldn’t say it was because of Stigma, so Judith said awkwardly.

“It just happened.
Somehow.”

There was nothing more clichéd than this.

Giryu’s eyes turned toward her neck.

“……yes, if it’s the dame’s decision, there must be a good reason to do so.”

Before long, Giryu’s gaze took on a more complex light.

Judith’s cold reaction was expected.
But when he actually met her, he wanted to die.

This feeling was quite different because the air current usually used the word “I want to die” to mean “I want to drink tropical fruit juice” while playing on the beach.

“Dame Judith.”

“Yes.”

“……”

“……”

Silence ensued.

The effect of the pay cut was truly enormous.
Judith’s mouth, which had been opened twice, was about to open once again.

It wasn’t even Giryu that made her uncomfortable.

However, the blatant avoidance of her gaze made Giryu’s mind endlessly heavy.

His mind was so complicated that he surprised himself.

‘As expected, I’m hated.’

Giryu knew that her emotions had not been completely resolved.

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What he wanted to say was piled up.

Especially, I want to ask you why you didn’t tell me.

However, in this situation, asking such a question is nothing but questioning.

In the end, Giryu turned around.

He decided to solve another problem first.

“Sir Peon Grand, for the time being, will cool his head off in prison and then move out… …and Sir Frederick has also been punished.”

“I see.”

Peon was welcome to go somewhere else.

The Knights have accidents every day anyway, so this will be buried soon.

What was more urgent than that was the pay cut.

“Deschamps will be taking responsibility over the new knights involved in this incident.
If there is anything you want, please let me know.
Apart from the senior assault, you should also receive treatment.
Let me know if there’s anything you want.”

“No, not really.
I don’t want anything.”

Judith just lied.

I wanted to ask you to withdraw the pay cut right now.

Damn pay cut! If she knew this would happen, she’d have hit him sooner and pay half the price!

“Isn’t there anything you really want?”

“There is not.”

The purple eyes, which were always looking forward, somehow ended up on the floor today.

Judith was puzzled for a moment.

What’s wrong with him?

Kiryu had a rather strange face.
Like someone who swallowed pepper by mistake, he held his breath and then repeated her breathing.

After a while, he nodded as if resigned.

“I see.
I mean, here…”

Giryu pulled an envelope out of his coat.

“Take it.”

“……?”

Judith was handed the envelope with a puzzled face.

I wondered what the hell was going on.

It was a brown paper envelope that didn’t show the inside.

It is much thicker than ordinary paper, and it is a fairly luxurious paper quality.
The look and feel were somehow familiar.

The moment she checked the contents, Judith was startled.
She almost jumped in place like a rabbit.

“The wound on your neck still doesn’t seem to have healed, is it really okay?”

Giryu’s mind was complicated.

He hated this situation.
Nevertheless, he had no choice but to ask like this.

When the butler fixed him a check this morning, he didn’t expect this to happen.

The check Judith pulled out was a check with a maximum payout based on color.

‘White is unlimited, red is up to 10 million, blue is… up to 1 million gold.’

Judith’s name was written on the check user’s name and a family seal was engraved on the issuer’s part.

A black dragon and three jewels.

Count Lewalchmei’s sentence was clear.

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“It’s out of common sense to exchange it like this, but… the bill for treatment didn’t come no matter how long I waited.”

“Ah…”

“You can use the right amount and take it to the bank.”

It is beyond common sense in an aristocratic society to exchange checks face-to-face between individuals.
It was common to hurriedly hide it once it was confirmed.

But Judith looked at the check without a word.

Right amount?

‘I’ll write 1 million gold no matter what.’

Judith made a firm resolve.

The check got a set amount at a tremendous speed.

If you have a conscience, it is normal to write down about 300,000 gold for treatment.

But Judith did not intend to miss this opportunity.

She even had a pay cut, but she wasn’t a kid who didn’t know the world enough to find a conscience.

Let’s not live a money-seeking life.

She returned with such thoughts, but there was still something Judith could not yield.

She still wants to eat meat between bread and meat.

Still, Judith preferred the silver sheath to the copper-plated seaweed sheath.

She thought gold thread suits her better than silver thread, and the ornaments were also large, expensive, and gorgeous.

There was definitely a line that could not be compromised.
The baseline did not change.

However, there is a criterion for judgment that is rather clear because of that.

‘This is the money I deserve.’

Life is real.1

If you follow only your ideals, you will starve to death.

The honor of a knight, the justice of a knight, the integrity of a knight.
That’s how they feed you.

So before she went back, she only followed reality.
Even after paying back her debt, she was overly anxious and impatient.

But now Judith really wanted to change.

She wanted to get away from the road that was driving herself to ruin without being overly greedy.

The kind of money she can get.

The kind of favors she can accept.

She could now choose and judge.

‘I’ll change.
Let’s change.
I can do it.’

Let’s change.

Let’s not prove my worth only with violence.

She won’t let this regression be in vain, let’s look at the ideal reality.

She can definitely change her past and time to come.

Judith believed so.

“Thank you.
I was very busy, so I didn’t pay attention.”

Judith bowed her head slightly.

“I’ll stop by the bank as soon as I have time.”

“The billing deadline is generous, so check the situation and then go.”

“I will do so.”

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Giryu nodded.

Once again, there was an awkward silence.

In the interrupted conversation, Giryu stared at the amber eyes that looked at him.

In fact, Giryu was more tense than ever.

It was better for her to pay for her crime with a salary cut rather than a suspension, which would ruin her career.

But she said she has been unhappy with money.

He thought Judith would complain back then when she got her salary cut.

Normally you couldn’t do that to the Knights Commander, but Judith was different.

She is different from a normal knight.

Isn’t it almost certain that she will go directly to the Imperial Palace sooner or later?

So he couldn’t understand any more.

‘Why did you…’

Why did she stay still after being beaten by Peon? An aether master, why the hell.

Of course, Judith had no way of knowing what was going on in Giryu’s mind.

“Dame Judith.”

“Yes.”

“If you go through this again…”

“I’m sorry, sir.
It won’t happen again..”

“No, I’m not trying to blame you.”

Giryu messed up her hair.

“On the contrary, make sure you tell me or Deschamps.
If it’s hard… …anytime.”

“…..”

Judith was silent for a moment.
Then she smiled and nodded her head.

“Okay.
I’ll report it to you.”

It was a little different from laughing.

Ah.

Giryu was certain.

She would never ask for his help even if something like this happened again.

Judith’s words to what he said were mere pretenses.

And Giryu’s certainty was not wrong.

Judith almost laughed in his face.

Thank you.

But that was it.
It’s nice to hear, but it doesn’t mean much.

‘He’s not someone I can share my problems with.’

Giryu was a stranger anyway.

He was kind to her and was also an aether master

But in the end, he was her boss and a stranger.

That’s why she can write a million gold without hesitation.

If it was a friend, she would’ve been a little more self.conscious, but it doesn’t matter if she’s a little arrogant to others.

Giryu makes a lot more money than her, and he also had the count title.

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She was sure he wouldn’t care for that money.

‘Don’t be so hard on yourself.’

She knows he’s a good person.

But so what?

Giryu was the boss who said nice things, but in the end was a stranger.

If it was Violet or Calipa she would’ve said it.

If the two of them had asked if she was having any difficulties, Judith would have confided in them, even with her poor language skills.

There’s a bad guy named Peon, and she got her pay cut.

But she couldn’t tell Giryu.

It wasn’t a matter of who was the boss.
It’s because he was a stranger anyway.

‘I’m not the one to confide about circumstances.’

What’s the point of telling others that you’re having a hard time? Only her situation becomes miserable.

Judith didn’t like to be miserable.

Of course, the commander’s goodwill is appreciated.

It might be because she’s a promising talent.

‘It’s really different from Jermel.’

Judith just thought so.
This leader is completely different from Jermel.

The biggest part of the Black Knights are individualism, meritocracy, and absolute obedience.
The atmosphere of the weak and strong made everyone sharp.

The leader’s words are the law.

Resign if dissatisfied.

The mission evaluation seemed fair at first glance, but it was not so in detail.

‘Actually, it was Jermel’s will.’

Jermel cared for those with skills.

However, that ‘care’ did not mean paying special attention or calling them frequently.

He was merely giving more opportunities to solidify his position in the Black Knight’s meritocracy.

Jermel was not interested in the overall discipline of the Knights.

It was similar to the Emperor’s lack of interest in the Knights.

He was a person who gave a negative evaluation, saying, “Even if one of the four black knights who went on the same mission had his arm cut off, it was your choice and your skills were insufficient.”

‘Even that was bothersome to him, so I had to only trust myself.’

The processing of the documents was a rough one to anyone’s eyes.
Unlike Giryu, Jermel did not have a separate deputy.

The chores were put off until the end, and when the documents came, he read them once and signed it.

When Judith helped him a few times, he stole and threw away some of the warrior’s expensive relics as if he didn’t care for them and remembered they exist from time to time..

It went without saying that Judith took it.
While rejoicing, too.

——————

TL notes ( ´ ▿ ` )

Manhwa chapter 19

인생은 실전이고 현실이다. Two: ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself.’ and ‘Don’t push yourself too hard.’ —- ‘너무 그렇게 스스로를 몰아세우 지 말아.’

**So sorry I was gone for almost a month :(( school stuff piled up due to covid and I have exams next week so I’ll try to either get a new chapter up this weekend or the week of 13th.

btw happy pride month <33!

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