Ch80 – It’s No Use Acting Cute, You Can’t Deny Your Mistakes

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Translator: Mogumoguchan

Editor: lolimelon 

Trigger warning: Brief mentions of past self-harm
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Morning sunlight leaked through the gaps of the curtain, casting a bit of light into the dark room.

 

 

The heated scent in the air had calmed, but the smell of pheromones still lingered faintly.
The bedsheets and floor were in chaos.
Clothes were thrown haphazardly on the floor and the blanket was scrunched up.
Half of it had fallen off the bed in a mess. 

As a golden ray of light shone on the bed, the scrunched up “blanket” finally moved.  

Yan Qiu opened his slightly swollen eyes and slowly poked his head out of the blanket.
His hair was in a mess, and for a period of time, he couldn’t quite remember what happened last night. 

 

He wanted to move, but found out that his left hand was shackled tightly to the head of the bed. 

Yan Qiu was instantly shocked, and his first reaction was that he was kidnapped. 

But when he took a look, he found that there was some fabric placed inside the handcuff as a show of consideration.
The “kidnapper” appeared to be afraid that he would hurt himself. 

 

Yan Qiu’s tense back relaxed.
He gritted his teeth and scoffed. 

It would seem like the “kidnapper” was a certain Mr.
Ji. 

Pheromones lingered in the air.
The bedsheets were a mess.
Their clothes were thrown all over the floor.
The tea table was knocked over.
The messy crime scene helped him to soon remember all the details from last night. 

 

‘What the heck! Is this necessary? All I said were words that came out of my mouth due to anger, and what did Ji Xinglan do? Does he want to lock me up in a room!’ 

Yan Qiu wasn’t wearing any clothes right now.
All he had on him was the cotton blanket. 

But clearly, they didn’t just cover themselves with the blanket and talk to each other.
Yan Qiu used his free right hand to lift the blanket and took a look.
Just as he expected, he saw faint red marks all over his body.
Aside from kiss marks, there were also some signs of himself being tied up before. 

When he saw this, his mind immediately went blank, and all the blood in his body rushed to his head.
“Open the door!”

He didn’t know whether his enraged shout was effective or not, but the handle soon turned with a creak and Ji Xinglan opened the door a little.  

Light shone through the crack, looking rather piercing to see. 

Yan Qiu instinctively narrowed his eyes.
The halo behind Ji Xinglan grew, and with the light shining on his back, he walked in. 

Yan Qiu glared at Ji Xinglan as he walked in slowly with a bowl of bird’s nest porridge.
He quickly pulled the fallen blanket over his body, but Ji Xinglan didn’t look at him.
Instead, he put the bowl on the bedside table in a spot where Yan Qiu could reach, then turned around to draw the curtains. 

The dark room immediately lit up.
Fresh air gushed in through the window and the embarrassing scent quickly dispersed.  

Yan Qiu sat on the bed, and when he saw Ji Xinglan, he felt embarrassed, frustrated, and a little angry.
He glared at Ji Xinglan’s back and refused to touch the bowl he brought in. 

When Ji Xinglan saw that he was not eating, he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.
He personally brought the bowl over.
“Eat something.”

 

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“Eat something, my foot!” Yan Qiu absolutely had no patience whatsoever.
He wasn’t in the mood to pretend to be a considerate lover in front of Ji Xinglan.
The air of an agitated ruffian radiated off of him in waves. 

Ji Xinglan actually had the galls to pretend to be ignorant! He lied to him that he was pregnant, then decided to go mad and did that to him.
Now, he even wanted to lock him up! 

Would someone with a normal mind do this?!

Yan Qiu regretted his decisions.
He regretted them a lot. 

If he had regarded Mrs.
Ji’s words more seriously, he would not have ended up in this state. 

When he saw that Ji Xinglan still dared to appear in front of him so casually, Yan Qiu really wanted to throw a tantrum at him.
As he tried to sit up, the handcuffs bound him tightly, and he only had a small space to move around.
He was yanked back and bounced twice on the soft mattress.  

“Why did you handcuff me? Ji Xinglan, are you sick in the head?!” Yan Qiu’s body might be compromised, but his will was firm.
Even if he fell down, he still wanted to curse at Ji Xinglan. 

Ji Xinglan said nothing.
He ignored Yan Qiu who yelled at him agitatedly.
He just took the bowl and stirred it slowly with a spoon.
When the porridge was at a suitable temperature, he took a spoonful and brought it to Yan Qiu’s lips. 

“…You even locked me up! What are you even thinking about every day?! Have you been reading too many of those stupid, cliche, trashy romance novels?! Hurry up and release me!” Yan Qiu turned his head to the side in anger and rejected the porridge, nearly overturning the entire bowl. 

But Ji Xinglan still said nothing.
Like an obedient wife who worked without complaint and had an overbearing mother-in-law causing trouble to her, he remained quiet and patiently scooped up another spoonful to bring to his lips again.  

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection.
If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

“Eat something.”

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“Al Wlcuijc, ktja lc atf kbgiv jgf sbe atlcxlcu jybea?” Qtfc Tjc Hle rjk atja tf vlv cba lcafcv ab gfwbnf atf tjcvmeoor ogbw tlw jcv rtbkfv cb lcafcalbc bo ifaalcu tlw ufa vgfrrfv, tf kjr rb fwyjggjrrfv jcv julajafv atja tf rtbeafv ja Al Wlcuijc, “P’w cba ublcu ab gec jkjs! Qts vlv sbe tjcvmeoo wf?!” 

But Ji Xinglan remained calm.
He stuck to his previous action and pretended to be an emotionless machine tasked to feed him.
He ignored Yan Qiu’s enraged shouts. 

“Be good.
Eat first, we’ll talk later.”

Yan Qiu was agitated, but he felt like all his rage struck nothing.
After all the mental suffering Ji Xinglan caused to him, he found that he had no other choice.
Besides, Yan Qiu was feeling a little hungry as well.
After weighing the pros and cons, he felt all his energy drain, and he opened his mouth. 

He didn’t eat dinner yesterday.
Now, Yan Qiu was so hungry that his stomach growled in protest.  

The bird’s nest porridge was made perfectly.
It tasted refreshing and sweet.
Yan Qiu let Ji Xinglan feed him spoonful by spoonful.
Very soon, the bowl was emptied. 

After he finished feeding him the last spoonful, Ji Xinglan wiped his mouth for him, picked up the bowl, and left. 

 

‘He left, just like that?’

“Hey!” Yan Qiu hurriedly called out to him, “Didn’t you say that you’d remove the handcuff once I finish eating?!” 

“I’m not going to,” Ji Xinglan said faintly.
Who would have known what despite having such a handsome face, he would be so annoying? “What would I do if you run once I remove the handcuffs?”

“I-If you’re going to act this way, I won’t be eating next time!” Yan Qiu was so enraged by his shameless attitude that he was exasperated. 

Ji Xinglan pursed his lips, as if he was worried.
But in the end, he decided to be stubborn and said, “If you’re hungry, you’ll definitely eat.”

Yan Qiu remained silent for a while. ‘It’s true.’ 

He knew that he was someone who had a good appetite, and he was definitely someone who would not go on a hunger strike.
But he could not just let himself be locked away by this guy forever, right?

So Yan Qiu decided to change his tactic.
He tugged at Ji Xinglan’s sleeve and pressed his face against his body.
“Just help me remove the handcuffs.
I won’t run.”

There was no man in the world who could reject his omega tugging at his sleeve and begging him for a favor with a pitiful face. 

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Even though Yan Qiu found this really cheesy, Ji Xinglan clearly fell for it.
Yan Qiu keenly noticed one small detail—Ji Xinglan’s Adam’s apple bobbed.  

“I won’t run!” Yan Qiu continued, “You’re really amazing, so why should I run?”

“Amazing?” Ji Xinglan smirked.
He felt that his wording contained another meaning. 

Yan Qiu gritted his teeth in his heart. 

He had never been so shameless in his life to obtain his freedom.
After pestering Ji Xinglan endlessly and acting cute shamelessly, he finally convinced Ji Xinglan to remove the handcuffs.  

Immediately after, Yan Qiu immediately turned on him.
He quickly grabbed a bathrobe, wore it, and grabbed the pillow by the side to beat Ji Xinglan up.
Meanwhile, he also straddled him and cussed at him while punching him. 

Yan Qiu’s punches did not hurt.
Ji Xinglan laid on his back lazily and let him vent his anger.
He didn’t bother fighting back at all. 

When Yan Qiu was so tired that he couldn’t move, he stopped to gasp for breath, and Ji Xinglan flipped over to remove Yan Qiu from himself.
“Not going to hit me anymore?”

Yan Qiu felt as if his punches ended up on air.
He didn’t have any place to vent his anger.
In his agitation, with bloodshot eyes, he opened his mouth and bit down on the wrist Ji Xinglan extended over.  

When he hit Ji Xinglan, Ji Xinglan didn’t react much, but when he bit down on his wrist, Ji Xinglan was actually in so much pain that he sucked in a deep breath.
He scrunched his brow, and great pain appeared in his deep set eyes. 

Yan Qiu was stunned.
In the beginning, he thought that he was pretending, but the pain in his eyes did not seem fake, so he quickly removed his mouth from his wrist. 

 

Ji Xinglan’s wrist always had a few terrifying-looking scars.
The length varied, and they seem to have been left behind due to self-harm when Ji Xinglan was in extreme pain.
Right now, a few red teeth marks appeared on the scar-covered wrist, and blood was oozing out of them. 

Yan Qiu was shocked.
When he bit down instinctively, he did not know that he bit on his wounds.
He looked at it.
Once he found that Ji Xinglan was really bleeding, he quickly hurried to the living room to search for the first aid kit so that he could help him stop his bleeding and wrap up his wound.  

When he came back with the first aid kit, Ji Xinglan was still sitting on the bed without any expression on his face.
It seemed like he didn’t feel much pain, but the wound looked frightening. 

Seeing how nervous Yan Qiu was, Ji Xinglan didn’t cause much trouble and obediently handed his wrist over. 

Yan Qiu brought a pillow over to place under his wrist.
Then, he used a cotton bud soaked in iodine to disinfect his wound.
While he did this, he asked tentatively, “Your wrist isn’t broken, right?”

“It’s fine, my skin just tore.” Ji Xinglan seemed like he didn’t want Yan Qiu to see his wrist.
After Yan Qiu finished putting ointment on it, he wanted to pull his hand away, but Yan Qiu pushed his wrist down and slapped his head.
“Tsk, don’t move.” 

Yan Qiu continued to use iodine to disinfect his wound.
Fortunately, he bit down with barely any strength, so the bite mark was fairly shallow.
Not a lot of blood oozed out of it either. 

When he put a gauze on it, Yan Qiu asked worriedly, “You don’t need a tetanus shot if you’re bitten by a human, right?”

Ji Xinglan snickered. 

He might not want Yan Qiu to look at his wound, but Yan Qiu’s act of caring for him while wearing a cold facade was very cute.  

“No,” he said. 

The worry in Yan Qiu’s eyes had yet to disappear, but he did not forget to scold him, “It’s your fault.
Why did you put me in handcuffs for no reason? I didn’t commit any crime!”

“You asked me to put you in handcuffs.” Ji Xinglan bowed his head and exercised his wrist.
He said innocently, “I didn’t expect that you’d have this sort of hobby.”

“……” 

‘What hobby?!’

Yan Qiu found himself speechless, but when he thought about it carefully, when his mind was no longer clear, he seemed to have dragged whips, handcuffs, and other toys from that box!

Could it be that he really asked Ji Xinglan to handcuff him?

No way! 

For a period of time, Yan Qiu did not know what he should say. 

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When Ji Xinglan saw that he was embarrassed, he stopped making things hard for him.
He picked up the bowl and wanted to go out again, but Yan Qiu took the bowl from his hands. 

 

Yan Qiu pushed him down on the bed again and said fiercely, “Your hand is injured.
Forget about washing the bowl.”

Ji Xinglan sat on the bed and watched him with his beautiful, almond-shaped eyes.
There was the ghost of a smile on his lips.
“How fierce.” 

Yan Qiu ignored him and walked towards the kitchen. 

As he walked past the living room, he noticed that the kitten was laying listlessly in front of its empty bowl. 

He knew it.
Ji Xinglan only remembered to feed him, not the kitten.
When Yan Qiu did not keep an eye on him, he really would forget to feed the kitten. 

Lan Lan crouched in front of its bowl and stared at him with wide eyes.
Yan Qiu found it pitiful and gave it some cat food.  

In less than three minutes, Yan Qiu had finished washing the bowl, and in those three minutes, the kitten had already finished all its food and was currently licking its paws. 

Yan Qiu picked it up and went back to interrogate Ji Xinglan.
“Did you forget to feed the cat? It’s really hungry.”

“But I just fed it,” Ji Xinglan answered sincerely and innocently. 

Yan Qiu stared at him skeptically, then looked at the fat kitten in his arms.
He let out a disdainful snort and put it down.  

“How could you be such a liar? It’s no wonder you’re such a pig now!”

Once the kitten was exposed that it had been scamming Yan Qiu for food, the kitten ran away. 

Feeling resigned, Yan Qiu shook his head and placed his hand on Ji Xinglan’s wrist.
He asked a little worriedly, “…What’s with your wrist.
Do you need to go to the hospital?”

But Ji Xinglan avoided the question and answered perfunctorily, “It’s fine.” 

He wanted to leave as soon as he finished speaking, but Yan Qiu grabbed his wrist. 

“Ji Xinglan!” He had been burdened by his thoughts for a long time, and at some point of time, Yan Qiu’s eyes turned bloodshot.
“You cut yourself, right?”

No one spoke in the room, and everything was silent.
Ji Xinglan did not look at him. 

“Are you an idiot?!” Yan Qiu felt angry, and his heart ached for him.
There was no need for Ji Xinglan to admit or even deny it.
Yan Qiu already had his answer.  

Ji Xinglan was the only person in the world who could hurt himself. 

Yan Qiu also stood up and pulled his wrist over to himself.
With red eyes, he asked, “Did it hurt?”

 

“I’m fine.” Ji Xinglan still did not dare to look at him and just shook his head. 

When the pain in the heart was too great, physical pain was nothing.  

Even though he said this, Yan Qiu was still worried about him. 

This worry was mostly for Ji Xinglan’s mind, not his body. 

“Should you go to a doctor?” Yan Qiu asked tentatively, “I’m talking about a psychologist.
Your mother told me about your condition before.
She said you’re a little…”

Ji Xinglan took half a step forward quietly and hugged him.
He pressed Yan Qiu’s face against the side of his burning neck.
His voice was a little hoarse.
“I do.
A psychologist comes to treat me regularly.
The one who came to give you the pregnancy test was actually… Cough, he’s actually my psychologist.” 

Yan Qiu had originally been worried, but suddenly, anger burned in him, and he wanted to hit someone.
But when he remembered Ji Xinglan’s condition, he squashed his anger down and just rolled his eyes to show his anger. 

Should he say that Ji Xinglan was too cunning, or he was too much of an idiot?

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But since he was back, it was impossible for Yan Qiu to let him plunge into the darkness again. 

“Is getting treatment from the psychologist effective? Why are you still like this? You still worked up so easily,” Yan Qiu mumbled, “Should you go to another psychologist for consultation?” 

“…You can’t treat mental illnesses that way.” Ji Xinglan hugged him with both of his arms and placed his head on Yan Qiu’s shoulder.
He said gloomily, “It’s useless no matter who I visit.
I’ll be fine with you by my side.”

Yan Qiu remained silent for a while before he sighed and placed his hands on Ji Xinglan’s back.
He hugged him tighter. 

‘He is seriously stuck with me now, huh?’

Yan Qiu knew that plenty of alphas were people whose actions were decided by their bottom halves, especially those who were rich and handsome.
Nine out of ten of those alphas were casanovas with silver tongues and loved one night stands.  

Even if someone pointed a gun at his head, Yan Qiu would never have thought that Ji Xinglan was a person loyal to the one he loved. 

He suddenly felt like sighing. 

Growing up in an orphanage, he didn’t have many friends.
When he went to kindergarten, all the children regarded him with scorn, and only the silly Xie Yu was willing to play with him. 

Even though he gained quite a number of friends later on, Yan Qiu still felt the world would not be much different even without him around.  

His friends could be sad and miss him, but the world would still continue turning. 

But there was one person who was different. 

 

Without Yan Qiu, Ji Xinglan could not continue living. 

Yan Qiu looked at Ji Xinglan with a complicated expression, and he felt a little choked up.  

Ji Xinglan was worried that he was still angry, so he hung his head like a child who did something wrong while apologizing to him. 

“…Please don’t be angry.
I shouldn’t have lied to you.
If you won’t forgive me, I’ll go and kneel on stones until you’re no longer angry at me.”

“Enough.
Don’t even think about kneeling.” Yan Qiu looked at him and felt an indescribable sadness in his heart.
“But why didn’t you tell me about those things?”

“Alphas are very prideful.
I don’t want to pretend to be pitiful when it comes to feelings.”  

Ji Xinglan knew what Yan Qiu was referring to, so he placed a gentle kiss on his crown. 

“…I know that you’re a soft-hearted person, and once you know about it, you’ll pity me and be together with me.
Do I want to be together with you? Yes.
I want it so much that I’m about to go mad.
But I don’t need that sort of mercy.
I just want you to be truly happy, do you understand?”

“I…” Yan Qiu’s lips moved, but for a while, nothing came out. 

“It doesn’t matter whether you like me or not, it’s not your fault.
But there is one thing that I must say.
I love you.
I love you a lot.
I really can’t be apart from you.
Please don’t take away what you’ve already given me, okay?” 

Yan Qiu pursed his lips and stayed silent, but he didn’t say anything about leaving due to anger again. 

Ji Xinglan couldn’t be apart from him, but he was the same.
He loved him too. 

Leave? What the heck.
Even if someone beat him to the point of death, he wouldn’t leave. 

But Ji Xinglan did something wrong, so he still had to be punished.  

Yan Qiu composed himself and wiped the tears that did not spill from his eyes.
With as fierce of a tone he could muster, he said, “In any case, I’m going to punish you to sleep on the floor for a month.
It’s no use even if you act cute, you can’t run away from it.”

“If you do it again, then you’re sleeping beside the door.”

Mogumoguchan: I don’t… I don’t feel satisfied.
I just don’t feel like things have been properly resolved. 

lolimelon: >__>…