Bitter Summer

Two days after Terrances death, his mother held a funeral. Cal and his dad came, Neil and his family, Leon and his family, Aliyah and her family, all came to his funeral. His mother buried him in the local graveyard.

A bright day out, sunshine covered their heads. Guilt, grief, and agony filled the air. Cal was choking on his own breath, his chest was hurting, and his head was spinning. Ms. Harrol stood in front of Terrances grave.

”Terrance, my boy, Im sorry. I wasn a very good mother to you, I did my best trying to raise you alone. But I see that it wasn enough. I wasn enough. Chaos inside your head, I pray for you that it goes quiet. I pray for you that you could find peace. Im sorry. ”

Aliyahs mother then walked to her and tried to comfort her. Her cry of genuine agony was hurtful to hear.

Cal watched from the distance, his vision became blurry, he was losing balance. His heartbeat raced. He held his hand on his head, pushing his hand against his head, trying to fight off the pain. He then had to leave. He left the graveyard and walked to his dads car. To the right of the car was a brick wall, it fenced the graveyard. He walked to the wall and rests his forehead on the wall. He clenches his fist, pulled backwards, and started punching the wall. He punched the wall five times before Aliyah arrived.

He punched the wall very hard, his knuckles were blood red, nearly bleeding. When he went in to punch the wall a sixth time, Aliyah hugged him and pushed him away from the wall.

”Cal, please stop! ” She begged

”Why did it have to happen like this? ”

”… ”

”Its my fault. All of this is. ”

”No, Cal. Its not. You can blame yourself, you… You did your best. ”

”No I didn . I didn try hard enough. ”

”You can say that. ”

”HE DIED BECAUSE OF ME, ALIYAH! ”

Cal then lets go of Aliyah and bends over towards the hood of his dads car. He pulled his hair, opened his eyes wide, tears quietly pattered on the hood. He grit his teeth to buckle the agony in his heart. It was no use.

Soon, Cals dad joined them.

”Hey, Cal. ”

Cal didn respond, he just cried on the hood of the car.

”I think he needs to go home. ”

”Yeah. ”

Cals dad then grabbed Cal and gently drags him into the back passenger seat. He shuts the door and stands outside, looking through the car window.

”What am I gonna do? ”

”Excuse me. ” Aliyah said as she backs away from the car and returns to her family

Mr. Moore then got in his car and started it immediately. He left the funeral without a word. They arrived at their house very quick. The two left the car, Cal bolted inside the house. He unlocks the door and rushes upstairs and to his room.

Mr. Moore stood outside the house, he was devastated, crushed to see his son like that.

Cal entered his room uneasily, then slammed the door behind him and locked it. He sat on his office chair and rests his elbow on his study desk. He turned on his study lamp, the only light source that was lit in his room.

He looked to his left and saw a small picture frame, about 12×10 in size, a picture of him and his friends, Aliyah, Neil, Leon, and Terrance. Then to the right of that picture was a picture of him and Terrance.

The picture usually warmed his heart, but it gave him a heartache instead. His head began to spin. He started experiencing heavy headaches that spiked into his brain.

The glass of the picture started cracking from the four corners and to Terrances face. Shaking from the confusion and fear, Cal slowly touched the picture with his finger. The entire glass shattered. He jumped and backed away from the picture.

He couldn see clearly, he rubbed his eyes with one hand and saw the picture changed. It was an image of Terrance. Blood dripping from his nose, eyes, and mouth. Looking downwards and his hair covering his eyebrows and nearly his eyes. A rope tied around his neck.

”You did this. ”

”What? ”

”You did this. ”

”No I didn . I didn . ”

Terrance from the image startes to chant the same word over and over and over. Cal got closer and grabbed the picture. He brought it close to his face and heard it for one last time ”You did this. ”

Cal smashed it to his wall as strong as he could. Thinking that it would stop. He was wrong. And echoed voice coming from all around him.

”You said it yourself! ”

”Liar! ”

”Murderer! ”

”You said it yourself! ”

”Its all your fault! ”

”SHUT UP! ” Cal yelled

The voices kept on echoing around the room. Like a rubber ball that doesn lose its force after every bounce, it just doesn stop.

Cal tried closing his ears but it doesn help.

”Nothing happened ”

”Nothing happened ”

”Its not my fault. ”

Then someone knocked on Cals door.

”Cal? Are you okay in there? I heard you scream. ”

”Just leave me alone! ”

”Okay. Just know that Im here, anytime you need me. Ill be here. ”

”… ”

For almost three weeks—and 2 months into the summer—Cal has been a recluse. He didn leave the house anymore. He ate breakfast, lunch, dinner in his room. Something he never did in his life. His eyes were black due to lack of sleep, baggy because of the amount of times hes cried. His hair was a complete mess—hes usually very tidy about his appearance—he began to no longer gave a damn about himself. His knuckles were always red, because he kept punching the floor.

(Not the wall because his dad would notice it easier)

His friends came to visit him from time to time but they never actually meet him. Just talking behind a white wooden door. It was the hardest for Aliyah because she felt responsible for Cal. She feels guilty that she didn help Cal enough.

On the beginning of the third month, Leon came to visit. As per said, Cal stayed behind his white wooden door.

”Hey, Cal. Its been a while since weve seen you. And my game is coming up at 12, today. And I really want you to be there, along with Aliyah, Neil, and.. But, its okay. You don have to be there. I understand. Just start taking care of yourself, okay? Aliyah and Neil, especially your dad are worried about you. I do too. ”

”… ”

”Still got nothing to say? ”

”… ”

”Its okay, deal with things at your own pace. Thats all Ive goy to say. Hope you doing better. ”

”Wait. ”

”Im here. ”

”I wanna.. I wanna see your game. ”

”Your seat is reserved for you and only you, bro. ”

Then the door unlocked from the inside and slowly opened. Cal walked out of the room, looking like absolute shit. He hasn showered in days maybe weeks, he smells awful. He looks exhausted.

”Start with taking a long bath, yeah? ”

Cal then nodded and slowly walked to the bathroom with his right hand dragged across the wall.

Leon smiled seeing him from behind. He felt a resemblance of hope. He also felt joyful since his friend is coming to his game.

Leon quickly peeked inside the room and it looked like a wooden ship if it had been blasted by artillery—a **ing shipwreck.

Leon felt offended by the room somehow and entered the room. He took his steps carefully. Shattered glass near the outer wall, bed sheets half on the bed half on the floor. He pans over to Cals desk and his stationaries were on the floor, scattered. He took no time and started cleaning Cals room.

————————————————————————————

Leon arrived at Cals house around late 9 AM or early 10 AM.