If I Can’t Be Your Wife

Kathleen’s lips trembled.

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“Not anymore.”

 

She forced her watery eyes wide open and spoke slowly, one word at a time.

 

“I no longer love the Duke.”

“Then try to do it again.”

“What on earth are you…!”

 

As Kathleen’s voice rose, she paused, as she was reminded of Luci’s presence.

 

After taking a few deep breaths, she asked in a calm voice.

 

“Why do I have to do that?”

“If you’re going to live as a Duchess until the day you die, you’d better do that.”

“I never said I would live like that.”

“Are you saying you will abandon Luci?”

“Are you going to keep threatening me with my child?”

“There’s nothing I won’t do.”

 

He was sincere.
Alexis had no intention of letting her go.
Thinking about how much time she spent wandering outside his eyes for three years, he felt constricted and his blood boiled.
Especially when he looked back on the fact that she lived with the young priest, Alexis didn’t want to feel that way again.

 

He wanted to take all of Kathleen’s time in his hands.
He wanted to know what she eats and what she does.
What she thinks and what expressions she makes…….

 

Even this child, Luciano.
He wanted to have him if he was the one she cherished the most during the time he knew nothing about her.

It would be nice if she would cling to him like before.

 

“Why did you change your mind?”

 

Kathleen asked abruptly.

 

“You said you didn’t think of me as your wife.
Even when I asked you to stay by my side, you refused, so why are you doing this now?”

“It felt dirty losing what I owned.
It was enough to experience something like that once.”

 

Alexis answered briefly.

There could be no other answer than that.
That was all he could say.
He knew for sure what he wanted, and he answered so.

 

Her pale blue eyes trembled and watered.

 

“Since you said that, should I dance out of excitement?”

“If you want to.”

“I am not a thing.
I am not something that the Duke can hold if he wants to have it and disappear if he says he will throw it away.”

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His heart throbbed at her words.
This abnormality in his heart was a first.

 

‘…Why are you doing this?’

 

Considering the possibility that the poison could spread to his heart again, Alexis reached out one of his arms and wiped the tears from her cheek.

 

“So I told you.
Please love me again.”

 

Kathleen tried to hit his arm, but Alexis stubbornly wiped her tears away until they stopped flowing.

 

“Go back to what you used to be as soon as possible.”

 

If he hadn’t been holding the child, he felt the urge to lick all her tears.
Even then, he thought it would be nice to bring the changed woman back to her old self.

 

“Kathleen Walten.”

 

As he whispered her name, Kathleen trembled as if he was driving nails.
But it was more of anger than fear.
Alexis liked it more.
At least, it was proof that some feelings were still there for him.

 

His chest began to throb even stronger.

 

Alexis tore the child off of himself and gave him to her.
As soon as Kathleen received and hugged him, Luci groaned and whined.

 

Leaving behind the child reaching for him, Alexis quickly left the dining room and ran up the stairs multiple steps at a time.
He shouldn’t lose consciousness and fall as he did before.

 

He entered the office, closed the door, took out one of the two crystal bottles from the drawer, and took a sip.

 

A cold energy went down his throat and spread to every corner of his body.

 

– Ms.
Edith said that Tassart herbs had side effects unlike the ice flower.

 

Viscount Rylent’s worrisome report flashed past his head.

 

-The southern scorpion’s venom has no antidote, so it’s only a temporary solution.
It’ll be back soon.

 

Side effects of dr*gs and effects of poisons.

Alexis hadn’t felt the difference for a long time.
So it didn’t matter.

 

He took another sip of the dark green liquid, recalling her watery, pale blue eyes.

 

‘Will she wear mourning clothes if I die?’

 

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He suddenly had that thought.

She wore mourning clothes and cried when that young priest, whom she could not formally marry, died.

 

However, he was only her husband on paper, so if he died, she probably wouldn’t.

 

Alexis closed his eyes, feeling the burning poison from his nerve endings.
But Kathleen’s face showed no sign of disappearing and stayed engraved beneath his eyelids.

 

***

 

“His Highness, the Crown Prince is entering.”

 

At the words of Count Turan, who was in charge of the meeting, the noisy quarrel stopped.
Alexis looked at Peter as he entered the conference room with a slightly flushed face.

 

Golden eyes of the same color as his met.
He seemed somehow angry.

 

Alexis turned his head, pretending not to know.

 

“Everyone, please sit down.”

 

The nineteen-year-old Crown Prince said as he sat down at the head of the table.
Originally the Emperor was supposed to take over, but he was battling a disease and was replaced by Peter.

 

“Your Highness, you must make a decision quickly.
It is said that the dissatisfaction of the southern immigrants is getting worse.”

“It is likely that there will be armed conflicts to a degree that will be difficult to consider as mere rebellion.”

 

The nobles summoned to the court meeting all spoke together.
Peter glanced over the report the lieutenant gave him.

 

“The leaders of these uprisings are the southerners who were subjugated by the Empire 10 years ago.
The main point is to give their representatives a title to treat them as lords and to apply the same tax rate to farmers.”

“Yes.
Right now, they are united in the South, but we do not know how the Northern immigrants will react when they hear about this.”

 

Count Hopewell added.
Nobles knew that he was informed of many stories as he frequented the North for business.

 

“I have already heard stories of small-scale estates not directly governed by the lords, and that their castles were taken by foreign immigrants which were originally owned by residents.”

“It’s time to show the Empire’s power again!”

 

Marquis Ostaver’s furious words drew everyone’s attention to Alexis.
Alexis smiled and spat out.

 

“Everyone seems eager to send me back to the battlefield.”

 

Everyone joined in as if they had waited for his words.

 

“If Duke Walten, who is well-respected in the Southern Battle, comes forward, it will be a great help to the Empire.”

“Yes.
Southerners tremble when they hear Duke Walten’s name, right? You can flatten their noses.”

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As if his participation had been decided, the meeting proceeded in a natural flow.

 

“When do you think it will be advantageous for our military in terms of timing?” 

“Which territory should the main distribution line be?”

 

Alexis opened his mouth, staring at his* half-brother, who barely hid his bewildered expression.

[T/N: We will be using the male pronoun for Peter when she’s around people who don’t know her secret and female pronouns in scenes with people who know.]

 

“What do you think, Your Highness?”

 

There was silence in the conference room as if cold water had been poured.

 

“I’m asking Your Highness if you’ll bring peace back again, even if you have to put Trivellian at risk.”

“It would be right to suppress the rebellion of the immigrants, Duke Walten.”

 

Peter said calmly.
It was the perfect face according to imperial etiquette.

But Alexis knew he was far from a cruel monarch.

 

“But there is no law that says there has to be blood in the process.”

“Then let me tell you.
There is one trick.”

“What is it?”

“Marriage.”

 

Peter’s face contorted at the short answer.
Alexis said.

 

“The story is that if Your Highness negotiates with the immigrants for marriage, this situation can be concluded without bloodshed.
If you can promise the Crown Princess’ position, then it cannot be resolved any easier than this.”

“Your Grace, are you serious?”

“I’m serious.”

 

In an instant, the conference room began to freeze.
The unexpected remarks of the Duke of Walten made all the other nobles speechless.

 

He wasn’t wrong.
Every time a territory was expanded after succeeding their conquests against weak kingdoms, large and small chaos arose both inside and outside the country.
Countless political marriages were made when conquering principalities.

However, the problem was that since the Crown Prince, who was now leading the state affairs, was not yet of age, the Empress had a heavy influence on him.
The moment that they leave the conference room, it was obvious that the Empress would jump when she hears the news, so everyone started paying attention.

 

“Today’s meeting ends with this.
We’ll reconvene later.”

 

At the words of the Crown Prince, the nobles rushed out of the meeting room.
Alexis was about to leave last.
Peter caught him.

 

“Brother.
What was your intention by saying that earlier?”

“What do you mean by intention?”

“You’re getting revenge on me, aren’t you?”

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Alexis slowly removed his half-brother’s hand from the hem of his sleeve.

 

“Revenge.
I said it with my heart and mind for the Empire.
Because that is the most peaceful way.”

“I was trying to persuade the nobles to improve the unfavorable tax provisions and discrimination against immigrants.
I thought you were trying to help! But a political marriage, that’s…!”

“Me?”

 

He cut Peter off and looked down with cold eyes.

 

“You helped Kathleen run away with that priest and you thought I was going to help you?”

 

Three years ago, Kathleen’s whereabouts became unknown.

The clue of that day, which could not be found no matter how much he searched, was found in the village where Kathleen hid.
Among the villagers, they have secured a witness testimony of seeing a person with blonde hair and gold eyes coming in and out of the house.

 

They said that she wore women’s clothes, but such appearances were rare in the Empire.
It couldn’t have been anyone else but Peter.
Besides, if Peter was behind it, it was no wonder that he was able to manipulate the records.

 

Peter, with clenched teeth, said in a low voice.

 

“Do not bring personal feelings into public affairs.”

“The Crown Prince personally supported the Duchess’ infidelity, a member of the Imperial Family.
Do you think this will stop as a matter of personal feelings?”

“Infidelity?”

 

Peter said exasperatedly.

 

“It was none other than brother who left Kathleen alone and tormented her.
You dare say things like that, when you have never taken good care of her as a husband before?”

“You crossed the line too far.”

 

He warned.

 

“Don’t try to interfere any further.
If you do, you may end up with more than just an arranged marriage.”

“I will not stand still either.
There are quite a few things that a Crown Prince can do more than you think.”

 

Alexis laughed.

 

“If you are going to walk the same path as your mother, I will not stop you.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“If you want to drive me to the battlefield and try to kill me like the Empress did, then do it.
Whoever will die first is yet to be seen.”

“What sort of…?”

“It would be beneficial to live without taking interest in each other’s work.”

“Brother, brother!”

 

In shock, Peter grabbed him, but Alexis left the conference room.