If I Can’t Be Your Wife

“Did you think there’s an employee in this mansion who didn’t know? It wasn’t even the set date for bed-sharing, but since the Young Master is visiting for the first time, it was only natural that attention was drawn to the bedroom.”

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“Then all the servants of this mansion are suspects in stealing the bottle from the bedroom and delivering it to the Empress’ Palace.”

 

“Y-You can say that.”

 

“But, isn’t it the Baroness’ fault for tolerating these servants, knowing that they were thinking of such disrespectful thoughts?”

 

“Are you trying to put the blame on me?!”

 

Contrary to usual, the nanny, embarrassed by Kathleen’s attitude, jumped up and looked at her, but Kathleen was not intimidated.

 

“It’s a reasonable inference.
If I were to think about the Baroness’ sins, it’s either you permitted the actions of the servants even though you were well aware of it, or you are colluding with the Empress’ Palace.”

 

“That doesn’t make sense!”

 

“Of course it seems to be the latter.”

 

The nanny was the maid who took Alexis’ mother to the Empress’ Palace and had a special relationship with her.
So she volunteered to be the nanny of the Emperor’s illegitimate son,

 

That was why Alexis always tolerated her arrogance.
At times he seemed to trust her more than Kathleen.
So Kathleen could not easily speak ill of the nanny after returning from her death.

 

‘The Empress is confiding such matters with this type of person?’

 

Kathleen believed that the words that popped out while her emotions intensified were likely to be sincere.
The nanny’s face turned white, as if she had been stabbed in the head with her words.

 

Seeing that, Kathleen suddenly remembered something.

 

The night when her destiny changed.

 

Kathleen recalled witnessing the secret of the nanny after her return resulting from ending her own life.

 

‘The escort knight, where is he from?’

 

It had been a long time since the nanny’s husband had passed, and Kathleen didn’t care as she thought that there might have been some reason that the nanny chose to hide her special relationship with the escort knight.

 

But now that she thought about it, it was suspicious.
If the knight was appointed by the Empress…

 

Just as she was about to think of something.
The nanny’s red-painted lips twisted.

 

“Ha.”

 

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She slowly walked around the table and approached Kathleen.

 

“Do you think you should be one to talk when you took the seat of the Duchess by seducing him with your body?”

 

“Aack!”

 

In an instant, the nanny grabbed Kathleen’s hair.

 

“That is no place for you!”

 

“Baroness! Let go!”

 

“Did you think I didn’t know that you are barren? How dare you run around like this pretending that you aren’t.
I’m so tired of you being so vulgar!”

 

Kathleen hadn’t slept all night and had skipped two meals.
In such a situation where the nanny’s anger was about to reach its peak, it was not easy to get out of the nanny’s grip.

 

Furthermore.

 

“Since you can’t have children, you’re a useless b*tch!”

 

Her knife-like words flew like sharpened blades.
Kathleen couldn’t breathe.

 

‘Something useless was born.’

 

As she was being shaken continuously, her vision suddenly became black and her father’s voice rang in her ears.
The sound started as a mumble then began to grow louder like thunder.
She was choking.

 

‘Ah.’

 

Her hands froze like ice and her legs weakened.
She felt a sharp pain from the nanny’s grip, not letting her hair go.
She could no longer control her body.
Kathleen collapsed and lost consciousness.

 

“Why is this b*tch acting? Can’t you open your eyes right now? Must I pour water on you for you to come to your senses… Argh!”

 

Before she knew what was going on, the nanny was pushed against the wall.

 

“Heuek……”

 

She groaned in pain due to her shoulder being slammed against the wall then fell to the floor.
As she was about to shout at whoever dared to come into the drawing room, she stopped breathing as soon as she saw the black-haired man in front of her.

 

“Y-Young Master?”

 

“Audrey Duroc.”

 

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Standing up whilst holding Kathleen in his arms, he slowly looked back at her, calling her name in a very low voice.
Hair all over her body seemed to stand up, and the nanny hurriedly opened her mouth.

 

“You misunderstood.
The Duchess tried to frame me first so I protested and tried to stop her.”

 

“Summary punishment for contempt of the Imperial Family.”

 

“W-What?!”

 

Before she could fully comprehend what Alexis meant, armed knights arrived and rushed in.
Alexis ordered with an expressionless face.

 

“Take her to the annex and dispose of her.
It is Walten’s rule to deal with the spy as soon as they are caught.”

 

“Yes!”

 

Now that the nanny understood the situation, she cried and pleaded.

 

“Young Master! Please listen to me just once.
You’ve misunderstood! There are just some circumstances with Her Majesty the Empress.
Wait… Please! Young Master!”

 

But it was to no avail.
With one glance from Alexis, the nanny was lifted up like a piece of bale.
The sound of her cries gradually diminished, and eventually could no longer be heard.

 

Alexis laid Kathleen on the sofa in the drawing room, then pulled the lanyard to call her maid.

 

“Madame, you called…… Madame!”

 

Emily came running.
Alexis briefly said, looking down at her lying there with her pale face and motionless body.

 

“Call the Imperial Court Doctor.”

 

***

 

She was 15 when she learned that she could not have children.

 

Unlike normal girls, Count Winston, who was nervous because he could not see any signs of menstruation, secretly commissioned a request to the temple.

 

“I’m sorry, but the Count is right.”

 

The priest shook his head and stood up.
Kathleen sat with her head bowed like a sinner.

 

“Huu.”

 

Count Winston, who could barely quell his anger, motioned for him to leave.
The Count’s butler, who was waiting in the corner, gave the priest a bag of gold coins and escorted him out.

 

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There was a brief silence in the drawing room where only the two of them were left.
Unquenchable anger erupted from Count Winston.

 

“I can’t believe this, your menstruation is late, but I didn’t think that it would be true you couldn’t have children!”

 

“I-I’m sorry, Father……”

 

“I wondered if I could use you because you were a half and have a pretty nice face.
But something useless was born.”

 

They were words that pierced her chest.
Kathleen unknowingly bit her lip, and looked into her father’s eyes in shock.
Count Winston said, wheezing.

 

“If I had known this would be the case, I would not have recognized you as my child! Even though I didn’t want to, because you had your mother’s face, everything that was of low blood was exposed.
Other people’s illegitimate children resembled their fathers, so why do you not? This is all because of your mother’s filthy blood!”

 

It was Count Winston’s hobby to tie her mother and her together and accuse them of being sinners.
Only then did he feel justified in his act of taking a fairy of the Winter Valley as a spoil.

 

“Master.
Viscount Graham, Viscount Garrett, and Baron Morris have arrived.
Should I tell them to come in?”

 

“Yes, did you ask them what I told you? What did they say?”

 

The butler, who returned from sending the priest away, came in and reported that all the vassals had gathered.
Count Winston asked impatiently, as if trying to grasp even a glimmer of hope.

 

“That..
They all said the same thing.
All the young ladies who got married and were unable to produce an heir….were kicked out.

 

“D*mn!”

 

Count Winston spit out a curse word.
His attitude was so rough that you could see murderous intent in his eyes.

 

“This is what I get for using something unlucky!”

 

He said, wheezing.

 

“Tell everyone to go back! I don’t even want to talk to them because they will only provoke my anger.”

 

“Yes, Master.”

 

The butler, noticing Count Winston’s great displeasure, quickly ran away.
Kathleen stared blankly at her father who was slandering and accusing her mother’s lineage.

 

‘My father sees me like a cow or a horse to sell.’

 

It was only today that it became clear to her that he did not regard her as a human being, even though she was of Winston blood.

 

The Winston estate was located at the Northern border.
It was barren and blizzards raged throughout the year.

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Count Winston, who became a new Margrave in recognition of his achievements after a long battle of ten years, had a rather rough temper.
His desire for power was also great.
He then became engaged to a noble lady from the Capital, and after a while came back to the North to serve.
It was then that he heard rumors that fairies from legends lived in a steep and rugged valley.

 

During a brief stop in the capital, drunken vassals proudly boasted about the Winter Fairies they caught as their wives.
They had silver hair that glistened, pale-white skin and cold eyes.
They had pure and beautiful appearances, beauty that could not be seen in the Capital.

 

In a story that had been passed down, they were said to have the power to curse.
However, Count Winston, who became greedy at the sight of a Winter Fairy, also began to search the valley.
He was still a long way from marrying his fiancee anyway because she was dissatisfied with the battle in the North that had been going on for such a long time.

 

However, fairies were difficult to find.  They avoided contact with humans as they have lost family members because of them. 

 

Of course, Count Winston had a great obsession, so he scoured the valley like this and was able to catch a Winter Fairy that he so wanted a few years later.

 

The woman, who had a much more beautiful appearance than the wives of his vassals, had an enchanting eye color.
Her eyes shone strangely, as if they were sapphires embedded in ice crystals.
It was enough to fascinate Count Winston.

 

Count Winston, who ignored her plea to return, took the woman, and she bore his child.

 

He had feared that his engagement would then be broken and regretted it a little, but he did not worry too much as it was rarer for nobles to not have mistresses.

 

Three years later, the fairy gave birth to a child.

 

All those who were fascinated by fairies’ beautiful appearance were also afraid of them, saying that they were creepy.
The same was true for Count Winston.
He initially suspected that the child was of a different bloodline and tried to expel her, but when a priest verified that she was his daughter, he was forced to accept her.

 

The then Countess Winston was angered upon learning of the fairy that her husband had hidden.
Only after hearing her husband’s explanation did she calm down.

 

As a newly appointed person, in order to maintain a connection in the social circles in the Capital, a sacrifice in their political marriage was necessary.

 

She was the perfect fit, a half-human who also had half her mother’s blood.

 

‘But I was a daughter who wasn’t worth as much as a cow or a horse…’

 

The only thing left behind by her mother who had left her was this.

 

White ice crystals formed from Kathleen’s fingertips, filled with her emotions, and began to freeze.

 

“What are you doing right now? Didn’t I tell you that I don’t want to see something that ominous in front of my eyes!”

 

Count Winston shouted and threw cloth gloves at Kathleen.
Her eyes moistened as she slowly leaned down and picked up the gloves.

 

“Being unable to bear children is obviously because of your cursed bloodline.”

 

The words of her father, trembling in fear, echoed in her ears.
On that day, Kathleen had made up her mind.

 

The useless illegitimate child will disappear now.

[T/N: Poor Kathleen, TT leaving one hell hole only to fall into another one.]