Love Doesn’t Matter

Chapter 73 – Lock It Up

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When Hadius felt the convulsion of the woman who had lost all will, he was seized with an intense pleasure as if his internal organs were being pulled out.
A strange pleasure took his soul and made his whole body tremble.
Emilia’s reaction was clearly the pinnacle – whether it was the joy of conquest, petty lust, or a naïve sense of accomplishment.
It could be called anything.

Hadius was satisfied even though he didn’t know what that seething emotion meant.
He went blank for a moment when he saw tears running down her cheeks, but he immediately pulled himself together.

“Yes, what you said is right.
I am a despicable son of a b*tch.”

Mumbling coldly, he pulled a cloth out of the chest of drawers.
After wiping his hands, he pulled out another new clean one and took it for her body.

“But it is different regarding your family.
I will do my best for Charlotte Bern and for your family.
Also, it has nothing to do with me having you now.”

Instead of answering, a sharp hand pushed him roughly.
Emilia lifted herself up and snatched the cloth from him.

“Don’t lie.”

“Mid mad.”

Hadius coldly answered her and turned his back to Emilia.
It was an extremely hypocritical act, but that was the only thing he could do.

He picked up a wooden doll that her brother must have made for her and looked down.
It was hard for him to focus, perhaps because of the creeping anxiety that returned after a moment of satisfaction.
Meanwhile, Emilia wiped away all the disgraceful traces and ripped off all her clothes.

“I will make one thing clear.
I would have never stopped if I came here solely for that purpose.
You should’ve been under me right now.”

“Shut up.”

Her loathing was revived in her voice through her clenched teeth.

“You’re a piece of sh*t.
A piece of trash that drives a weak person into a corner.”

Little by little, blood started filling her face which looked like a broken doll.
Hadius thought that it was for the better as he saw Emilia’s blue eyes fill with hatred again.

Well, what’s going to change now? He knew very well too much was given up in order to give her a momentary pleasure.
Maybe even the faintly remaining little compassion had completely evaporated.
But that didn’t matter.
He was more than willing to accept it even if all she would give him was hatred.

“Whether you resent me or despise me, I am a despicable son of a bitch or a low-level scum, one thing is certain – you will always stay by my side.”

Emilia laughed.
It was an extremely despondent, empty laugh.

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“What on earth is this? Right now… I really… don’t know.
Why is Young Master doing this to me….”

I don’t want to hold on in the name of love, I don’t need to know to live, nor do I want to know.
I have no choice but to do so.
In every moment of my vicious life, I surprised myself, who seemed to have broken something, and when I looked into my own emotions, I found myself disappearing like smoke because it became infinitely smaller.
It was the same in front of my illegitimate brother and in front of my parents.
I have gained a lot by blocking my emotions.
I lost everything when I was weak, but I gained everything when I was strong, so I won’t argue anymore.
I won’t dig.

Hadius put down the wooden doll and tightened his loose tie again.

“The pistol Mitch Bern saw belongs to the mercenary I hired.” He muttered to himself, leaving her in the midst of lies and deceit, between truth and confession.

“He is a bodyguard.
I planted it on my farm to protect you and your family.
Forests are dangerous for women and children to live alone.
Though you never admit it.”

There was a brief laugh instead of an answer.
The fact that even the unfamiliar pistol, which was the decisive trigger for her to fall into the deeper abyss, was also associated with Meyer seemed at once sad and ridiculous.

“He’s not a bodyguard but a surveillant.
You can stop now.”

“Think about it.”

“No, right now….”

The furious Emilia just bit her lip in anger thinking that it would be useless anyway.

“I beg you, please don’t come and approach my family recklessly like this.”

He didn’t answer.
The exhausting argument that drew only parallel lines was making the two of them very tired.

“One more thing, I will find a job.
I don’t want to lie anymore that I work on the farm.
I will give my family an excuse myself… so don’t stop me.
If you try to stop me working… that time, I will really….”

“I get it now, so enough.” Hadius answered coldly and opened the barn door.

His half-hearted reply made Emilia anxious and enraged again.

“It’s true! If you stop me from working and keep an eye on me, I really won’t be able to sit still!”

The steps he had just taken toward the outside turned the other way.
His eyes were also burning with anger, but he seemed to be suppressing and enduring it.

“Do whatever you feel like.
And last but not least, I never ‘monitor’ anything except for matters related to your safety.”

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How can he lie so brazenly? Emilia held back her desire to accept it while thinking so.
The clear sunlight poured through the darkness as if softening the tension between the two of them.

“Come to Sitmer in three days – with your brother.
I have no other intentions but to show the cat.
If you refuse, I will threaten and torment you again.”

Without waiting for her answer, bang, the door closed.

When the master returned to the villa, Pip sensed a great storm boiling inside him.
He was ashamed to be caught with his feelings shown, so Pip smiled widely at him, pretending not to know anything.

“You’ve retu….”

Even before he could finish speaking, a small box was shoved against his chest.
Inside the cocked lid was a small ball of fur.

“There must be at least one person on the farm who knows how to keep a cat.
Get some advice, prepare water, food, and a place for it to sleep.”

Pip’s eyes widened when he realized that what was inside was a kitten and not a ball of fur.

“Be careful, he’s a ferocious guy.”

The Young Master said so as he untied his tie.
From head to toe, he looked indescribably exhausted.
When he realized that he was like crumbling grains of sand rather than scattered flying lanterns, Pip quickly erased the pity that might have appeared on his face.

“I will prepare the bath water first.”

“No, what should be done about that thing? It was like that all the way while in the carriage.
For now, he must never die, so take care of him rather than me.”

“Pardon? Ah….”

Looking down at the cat, Pip disobeyed the Young Master’s orders for the first time.
He prepared his bath first.
The Young Master looked like he was about to collapse at any moment.
Knowing that the only time he would relax was when he bathed in hot water, Pip decided to prepare water for bathing even if a knife was held to his neck.

“What are you doing?”

A cold voice fell over Pip’s head, who had left the box and prepared the bathroom.
He was scared, but he had to open his mouth.

“This guy will never die contrary to your concern.
I’ve never had a cat, but I’ve had several dogs.
That was how cubs normally sleep when they are this big.”

As soon as Pip finished his words, a bunch of brown fur shivered and raised its head.
He tensed up and raised his tail towards those who were looking down at him.

“Whoah, whoah.” Pip stepped back to show that he had no intention of attacking.

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“Did you see it? Isn’t it very energetic….”

As soon as Pip turned around his head toward his Young Master, he suddenly stepped on something.
He was so frightened that he had dared step on his Young Master’s foot.

“Forgive me!”

Pip jumped up from the spot and bowed his head to his waist.
He wanted to bang his head.
Four years into his career, he had never made such a stupid mistake.
Fortunately, his Young Master didn’t get angry at all.
He was very generous with the little mistakes that anyone could make.

I made a mistake, Pip bowed his head and waited for his Young Master to tell him that it was alright.
However, it was quiet for a while, and he didn’t hear the voice he was expecting.
When he quietly raised his head, the Young Master was focused on the kitten as if he didn’t care about his foot.

Pip’s gaze naturally fell to the cat.
If you say it’s weird then it was indeed weird, but if it’s nothing then it is nothing.
With its tail raised more fiercely than before, the cat glared at the man who had picked it up.
Looking at the two staring at each other as if they would bite one another, Pip managed to swallow a sigh that was about to burst out.

 

* * *

 

Emilia couldn’t sleep.
The memories of the barn floated around dizzyingly as her consciousness slipped into darkness.
She was a crazy woman; he was also a crazy man.
Suddenly taking off her clothes, the man moving like a machine, the hot sensation as if she was feverish, and the things that flowed like waterfall.

Haa….
After tossing and turning she finally stood up.
The refreshing smell of the forest filled the air when she opened the window wide.
Emilia took a deep breath and waited for her boiling heart to cool, but it wasn’t that easy.
The gray eyes of the man calmly looking down at her flashed through her mind, even though the memory was excruciatingly tiresome.
The man who looked down at her while he wiped his hands was intoxicated with triumph.

She couldn’t breathe with such humiliation.
Debauchery, confusion, degradation… those words seemed to exist for her.
Emilia groaned, laying back on the bed and crouching to the side.
The rough patterns of the old gray walls pierced her eyes like a gimlet. What should I do now? Her chest burned again.

 

* * *

 

“Yes, I understand.
This is all strange and scary; that’s what happens when something changes too suddenly.
So, eat your food first.

Pip carefully set down a bowl of goat’s milk and cheese in front of the box.
Of course, the cat wasn’t in the box.
The sensitive fellow hadn’t known how to come down from the antlers decoration for hours already.

“Since it wasn’t possible for you to drink cow’s milk, I brought you the hard-to-get goat’s milk.
Just in case you have been weaned, I brought some cheese for you to try.
Please eat some.
The more you get hungry, the more you get angry.”

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Pip whispered bitterly. You must have been starving for at least half a day, so how could it be possible for you to not look like that? I’ve never seen such a scared and wary fellow in my life.

“Well, is there anything wrong with being afraid? They are rather smart.
You’re just eating the stupid things.”

Pip forced a smile to hide his boiling irritation.
His brother said that a long time ago.
Even beasts would know that.
If a beast hates something, it hates it for the rest of his life until his death; if a beast likes something, he would like it until the day before his death.

“Who would hate a little, weak child like you? Don’t worry, no one will harm you.
From now on, I’m willing to be your hands and feet, so just eat first.”

The cat didn’t budge.
He only made a few baby cries without entertaining the thought of coming down.

“Aigoo, alright.
Will you eat if no one is here? You’ll rush down and eat it up after I go down, right?”

Pip smiled leisurely and turned around.
The very next moment, he spilled the goat’s milk he was holding with a ‘Tik!’

“Young Master, when did you come in?”

Pip frantically wiped the carpet as he asked.
This time, he didn’t even look at him; his cold gaze was directed toward the cat.

“Don’t worry.
They are normally like that in the beginning.
This is not a beast but a cat.
That fellow is very sensitive and timid, so it is bound to take some time….”

“Pip.”

“… Yes?”

“Go to the village and get a trap.
Not a real trap with a noose, but a catching net.”

Pip’s eyes widened.

“But… didn’t you say it should be tamed to the point that children can touch it?”

“Lock it up for now.”

Pip swallowed his frustration that was about to explode.

“He will eat only when he realizes there’s nothing he can do.”

As if to ridicule the Young Master, the cat climbed higher, crossing over the console, the chairs, to the drapes, and climbed even higher.