No, It was My Fault for Loving You

Chapter 33 : A Quiet Story and a Quiet Sister (Alejandro’s POV)

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Author’s note: 

This is the story of Alejandro’s childhood.

There are expressions related to mistresses and abuse.

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Alejandro Reyes has five younger siblings.
No, it would be more accurate to say ‘had’, because there were four now.

Of his younger siblings, only his second younger sister, Milch, was born from the same mother.

Alejandro’s father, McKay, was an aggressive, bold, and dynamic man who ran the country’s largest trading company.

His aggressiveness was not only demonstrated in business, but also with women, and he had three mistresses in addition to his legal wife.

His wife had no children.
Therefore, Alejandro, the eldest son, was appointed as his successor.

Alejandro was the son of one of his mistresses, Regala.

Regala was McKay’s first mistress.

When she was pregnant with Alejandro, it greatly pleased McKay, who had not been able to have a child with his legal wife for five years.
What was more, it was a boy.

Later, when Milch was born, McKay increased the number of mistresses to two.
No children were born from the second mistress, bringing McKay’s mistresses to three.
The third one gave birth to Alejandro’s three remaining younger siblings.

Alejandro has a sister ten years younger than himself, another sister thirteen years younger, and a younger brother fifteen years apart.

But the truth was that there might have been six of them.

If only that child had been born safe and sound at that time.

“…I wonder what it would be like.
Would it have been as cute as Milch?”

Thinking of the unborn baby, Alejandro muttered something to himself.

If only it had been born safe.

If only Regala had not fallen that day.

Yes, the day that I will never forget, the day Milch died.

…

…

…

“Milch, come here.”

When Alejandro called his sister’s name and held out his hand, Milch placed her hand on top of his without expression.

Alejandro was the only person in the house who willingly approached Milch.

Milch was born with hearing problems.

She could barely hear sounds, which resulted in vocal problems.

Alejandro was supposed to have a younger brother or sister about six years younger than him.

Regala, who had been flattered for giving birth to her first son and heir, Alejandro, was overtly disappointed when she learned of her daughter’s disability after Milch’s birth.

In fact, Milch’s presence threatened her husband McKay’s favor.
It was at that moment that McKay began to surround himself with a second mistress.

As a result, Regala disliked taking care of Milch and left her to the servants.

On the contrary, she had kept Alejandro by her side at all times.

“Alejandro, my sweetheart.
You are the heir to the Lord’s trading house, and you are very important.”

Morning, noon, and night.

For most of the time between when Regala woke up and when she went to bed, her son Alejandro was expected to stay by his mother’s side all the time.

But that doesn’t mean that her mother does anything for him.
She just kept him by her side and whispered to him, “You’re important,” when she felt like it.
Other than that, she leaves him alone or ignores him.
And yet, she does not allow Alejandro to go anywhere.

She doesn’t allow a young boy, only two years old, to do anything, to talk, nor to go to different places.

She ordered him to just stay still and be by his mother’s side, and he did so for a year.

When Alejandro turned three years old, McKay arranged for his son to have a tutor.
This allowed Alejandro to be away from his mother for a few hours a day.

I didn’t dislike studying.
But I didn’t like it either.

I didn’t hate it because it kept me away from my mother during that time.

The reason I didn’t like it was because this tutor was interested in my mother.

…

Everything seemed to fade away in Alejandro’s world at that time.

Everything in the world was black and white, or shades of it.

He was afraid that something would destroy him, so one day Alejandro, with his mother out of sight, went out into the garden and squashed a small insect he found there.

Then, for some reason, he felt lighter.

He felt that the heavy, dusky thing in his chest, which was definitely there before he did that, had disappeared a little.

After he realized this, he just wanted to feel comfortable and lightened up a little, so he kept hurting something as if he was obsessed.

Beautiful butterflies, a swarm of ants crawling along the road, fish in a pond, a mouse caught in a mousetrap…

Although he knew that it was only a momentary release, he still desperately wanted to have a taste of it.

Once, one of the maids saw him do so…

The maid turned pale and immediately took him inside the house, saying that he should not do such a thing.

After that he was even more careful not to be found.

One day, as he was taking care of a wild bird he had trapped, he heard a crackling sound behind him as if stepped on a branch.

He turned around and saw a strange child standing there.

She was much smaller than his mere four-year-old self.

She has the same amber eyes and reddish brown hair as Alejandro.

Alejandro wondered if this could be the baby that his mother had given birth to.

A child who was bound to his mother, and a child who was hated and kept away from her.
They never had a chance to see each other for a long time, and when they realized it, more than two years had passed.

As I recall, her name was…

“…Milch.”

As the sound spilled out of Alejandro’s mouth, the shoulders of the child in front of him twitched.

But the sister in front of him does not reply.

Alejandro did not know at this time that this was not possible.

No, the problem was what was in Alejandro’s hands before she could not speak at this time.

He still had the knife in his hand with the blood from when he took care of the bird.

He only noticed this when he saw tears in Milch’s eyes.

Tears began to well up and spill out.

Bathed in sunlight, her spilled tears shimmered like pearls.

She opened her mouth and was about to scream out loud.

And yet, the only sound that came out of the child’s mouth was a gravelly little moan.

“Milch…?”

He threw the bloody knife to the ground and called his sister’s name again.

But still, there was no reply.

But he didn’t care about that anymore.

The tears of the child, who could not speak, kept flowing, and were as solemn and beautiful as a religious painting.

Alejandro felt peace that was greater than any of the peace he had gained by harming the lives of others.

I don’t know, I’m thrilled.
And…I feel terribly relieved.

“Milch… it’s Onii-chan.”

Alejandro gently reached out his hand.

On this day, Alejandro did indeed find a treasure.

Little did he know that just two years later, he would lose this precious treasure forever by his own hands.